💡 The habits children build around screens long before they join social media may shape how well they cope with it later.
In the past few years, clinicians and researchers have seen a rise in problematic social media use among teenagers, linked to mental health problems, sleep disruption and difficulties at school. In response, the Dutch government, like many others, published national Guidelines for Healthy Screen Use in 2025. Among its core recommendations is a minimum age of 15 for social media platforms such as Instagram and TikTok.
Dr Ina De Koning, a developmental scientist in Clinical Child and Family Studies at Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam, was one of the two main authors of the guidelines. She has done extensive research on adolescents, where problematic use is typically marked by loss of control, conflict, and continuing to use social media despite problems. Knowing those excesses, she supports clearer age advice and stricter rules around social media use for teenagers.
At the same time, De Koning stresses that this is only part of the solution: attention should not start in adolescence, but much earlier. By the time parents start worrying about social media use in their teenagers, a lot of the groundwork has already been laid in the first years of the child’s life. Not because toddlers are secretly on Instagram, but because the everyday rhythm of family screen use teaches something bigger: whether screens are woven into every bored moment, every mealtime and every wobble, or whether they sit in their proper place. Modelling behaviour is therefore key: parents act as role models, and their own media habits set the tone.
In a 2024 review article, De Koning and colleagues also found that the wider family climate matters for preventing problematic social media use: warmth, responsiveness and a positive parent–child relationship are associated with fewer problems. That can feel like a big, fuzzy goal. Luckily, research also points to more practical steps parents can take. For example, children do better when parents set clear rules in advance about access to devices and social media.
Kids need to learn that screens are part of life — not in charge of it
For families with preschoolers, the message is thus to start with clear and predictable rules from the very beginning, when screens are introduced into a child’s life, and to model the habits you hope to see. These everyday choices will not guarantee a problem‑free digital life, but they can stack the odds in your child’s favour when social media arrives.
But it is not all in the hands of the parents. In an opinion article, De Koning and colleagues warn that platforms such as TikTok and Instagram pretend to be more socially responsible than they actually are, dressing up weak safety features as serious protection while still being designed to keep young users hooked. Governments therefore need to move to stronger platform regulation, to create a safer digital environment for youth.
So can healthy screen habits in the preschool years prevent problematic social media use? Not entirely. But they are one of the few levers parents do control — a way to build healthy digital habits long before the first social media login ever appears.